


Ch-Ch-Changes

by illfoandillfie



Series: Ben x Reader x Joe [2]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Multi, implied sex, one mention of daddy kink but nothing explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:42:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21901150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illfoandillfie/pseuds/illfoandillfie
Summary: You, Ben and Joe adjust to your new relationship dynamic.
Relationships: Ben Hardy/Joe Mazzello/Reader
Series: Ben x Reader x Joe [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1577632
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	Ch-Ch-Changes

**Author's Note:**

> Written in response to a request as part of my 1K follower celebration on tumblr, picks up right after Horror Story (Right There On My TV)

It was quiet when you woke, the morning air crisp and still though you felt overly warm from where you lay between the two boys. _Your_ boys. The previous night’s confession came back to you along with the sore muscles and satisfaction left over from the reward you’d earned. Carefully, so as not to wake either of them, you disentangled yourself and scooted out of bed. It was while you were in the kitchen making coffee that Ben emerged, hair mussed and eyes still scrunched up against the morning light.   
“Morning,” you said softly, unable to keep the smile from your face, “you want one?”   
“Please,” he pushed his hair out of his face as he looked at you, “you beat me to it.”   
“The coffee?”   
“No, last night. The thing you said,”   
“The whole _I love you_ thing?”   
“You meant it right? Because I was- that’s what I was trying to say when Joe was off looking for the blindfold but I-I wasn’t...I couldn’t quite bring myself to say it. In case you didn’t.”   
“I meant it, Ben.”   
“Okay good,” he sighed in relief as he accepted the mug you were handing him, dropping a peck to your lips as he did.   
“D’you think Joe meant it too?” you hadn’t thought anything of it last night but you were hit by a sudden pang of worry, “It wasn’t just because he was caught up in the moment or anything like that?”   
“He meant it. Me and him stayed up talking a bit last night, after you fell asleep. Said he’d been wanting to say it for a while but didn’t want to ruin things if we weren’t on the same page. The only question now is, what does it mean for all of us?”   
“I don’t know. Guess I didn’t really think this part through.”   
Ben hummed as both of you took a sip from your respective mugs, thinking things over.    
“Well, we’ve never really labelled anything before, right? Do we have to start now?”   
“I s’pose not,” he still looked concerned.   
“Unless you or Joe want to, what’s wrong?”   
Ben bit his lip and then took another sip of coffee, stalling, “Do you think this could be a bad idea?”   
“You mean the three of us being together?”   
“Yeah. I don’t know I’ve just... I’ve had my concerns for a little while. Nothing serious just, like, a couple things in the back of my head. But if this is going to be a real thing now then they become real concerns.”   
“What sort of concerns?”   
“Well, with me and Joe being actors, like,” he paused and sighed, “Bo Rhap took off and it’s opened a lot of doors for us both, _6 Underground_ and this thing joe’s working on and everything else, and that’s great but it also means we’re getting a bit more attention than before and I know we don’t have to label anything but if the press got hold of it they would and they’d probably spin it into something weird or bad. And then on the other hand there’s fans and stuff and that could end up with all of us getting unwanted messages that are either really negative or proclaiming us as some sort of representation we aren’t necessarily aiming to be. And I know me and Joe have made our peace with living in the limelight and having people be constantly interested in our personal lives, you don’t get into Hollywood without thinking about it at least a little. But you didn’t. I don’t want this to backfire and get you caught up in something we can’t control. What happens if someone hacks our phones and finds our messages? Or if we go visit Joe in the US and the paparazzi get photos of you kissing both of us or something like that?”   
“Neither of you are quite that famous,”   
“I’m serious, Y/N. There’s a big-” Ben stopped and looked towards the doorway as Joe joined you.   
“Couldn’t wait for me?” he said as he made his way to the bench, pulling down his own mug from the cupboard.   
“Sorry. Mostly just been filling Y/N in on what we talked about last night. The,” Ben pointedly looked back at you, “big risks involved.”   
“And I’m trying to tell Ben the risks aren’t as big as he’s worried they are.”   
“Y/N, come on,”   
“Joe can you back me up?”   
“Awww our first argument,” Joe laughed until he turned and caught sight of Ben’s face, “fine. Y/N, I’m sorry but I gotta agree with Ben here. There are definite risks and we need to discuss them.”   
“I’m not saying there isn’t. I just think you’re making mountains out of molehills. Also it’s unfair that you’re both teaming up against me on this.”   
“Thought you liked being double teamed? Joe wiggled his eyebrows at you, earning a laugh from you and an eyeroll from Ben.    
“Look,” you said softly, “Joe’s only here for a little while longer. Paparazzi aren’t a problem for us right now. Let’s just try this and see how it goes okay? We can play it by ear and work out all the kinks as we go. Don’t.” you held a finger up at Joe whose mouth had opened at the word kink.   
“I wasn’t going to!” he protested as he took the seat between you and Ben.   
“You absolutely were.”   
“Oh for fucks sake you two, can you at least pretend to be interested in this conversation?”   
Joe sighed and patted the back of Ben’s hand, “okay I’m taking it seriously, I promise.”   
“Good, now explain to Y/N why this could go bad because apparently she won’t listen to me.”   
“I am listening Ben, I just don’t understand why you’re being so pessimistic about it all.”   
“I don’t think he’s being pessimistic,” Joe cut in, “you have to admit this isn’t the easiest situation in the world and it’d be unrealistic to expect everything to be smooth sailing. Not just from a we’re-working-in-an-often-intrusive-and-voyeuristic-industry way but also because I think it’s safe to say none of us have ever dated two people at once before.”   
Ben opened his mouth but Joe cut him off.   
“I mean two people who know about each other.”   
“Pretty sure it’s called a throuple,” you shrugged, earning a chuckle from Joe and a reluctant laugh from Ben.   
“Well, whatever it’s called,” Joe continued, “it’s probably going to take some getting used to.”   
“Okay but isn’t that every relationship?”   
“You really want to go through with this? Even with…everything. The press, the fans, explaining it to our families and friends, the fact that Joe lives in another country? There’s a lot that could go wrong without even taking into consideration normal new relationship shit, and this is your chance to decide if it’s too much and back out.”   
“I think you’re forgetting I’m the one who had the balls to verbally admit how I was feeling first. I’m not backing out.”   
Ben’s eyes met yours and he nodded, seemingly persuaded, “Okay then, as long as we all know what we’re getting ourselves into. Is it horrible of me to suggest we come up with some...I don’t wanna say rules but like just something so we can guarantee this stays between us until we’re ready to be open about it.”   
“What sort of non-rules?”   
Ben smiled at the word, “I don’t know. Maybe um, no PDAs? And that includes holding hands and stuff as well as kissing.”   
“I can do that,” you said with a nod, “never been hugely into PDAs anyway.”   
“Yeah, makes sense not to,” Joe said, “Though Ben if anyone’s gonna struggle with it, it’ll be you. So very clingy,”   
“I’m not clingy.”   
“If you say so. I know this probably goes without saying but, since we’re talking about it, I don’t think we should tell anyone until we are all in agreement that it feels right, if even one of us is unsure then it stays secret. And that includes telling our families. Even if they keep offering to set you up with someone or things like that.”   
“Your mum still going on about that friend’s daughter?”   
“Yes,” Joe sighed, “But I’m going to keep putting up with it for the sake of you two. Anything else?”   
“Maybe,” you ventured, “Maybe keep each other off our insta feeds and other social media. I mean, you two can post whatever you want and it probably won’t matter, but I think it’d be best to keep me out of it so that people don’t start speculating.”   
“Yeah, okay, that’s easy. Is that everything?”   
“I think so, yeah. S’pose we just see how it goes and figure things out.”   
“Okay. So what happens next?”   
There was silence as you all looked at each other and then Joe piped up, “Celebratory date night?”

After some discussion you landed on dinner at a restaurant you’d gone to together when Joe first came to visit. Ben called to make a reservation and that night, after a day mostly spent lazing around the house and relishing each other’s company and your mutual happiness, you got dressed up and hit the town.    
“You look stunning,” Joe said, eyes taking in the elegant dress you’d chosen and the heels that bumped your already tall frame just a smidge higher over his and Ben’s heads.   
“You scrub up pretty well yourself,” you adjusted his collar as you spoke, fingers brushing lightly over his neck, before reaching for your coat.   
“Allow me,” he said softly and then, much louder, “Ben, you ready?”   
There was a muffled noise from the bathroom in reply.   
“I swear if he’s still styling his hair.”   
“I heard that,” Ben held up a finger, pointing it at Joe as he came towards you.   
“Love when he gets all stern like that,” you nudged Joe’s shoulder.   
Ben stuck his tongue out at you both sending you into a fit of giggles, “Dorks,” he laughed as led you out to the car. 

The drive itself was fun, singing along to the radio and discussing how hungry you suddenly were while Joe turned in his seat every few seconds to make a comment or joke and Ben stole glances at you in his mirror. When he pulled up Ben opened your door, and gave you a hand out of the car.   
“And why didn’t you open my door Benjamin?” Joe said, mock aghast, “Terribly bad manners.”   
You all laughed though there was a sudden slight tension in the air. It wasn’t by any means the first time you’d been out with the two of them. Plenty of days had been spent showing Joe the sights – trips to museums and art galleries and parks, dodging couples holding hands and parents trying to stop kids from touching what they shouldn’t. And you’d been out for dinner together more than once, fancy restaurants and the local sushi place and everything in between. But that was all before when you were just friends who sometimes slept together. If Ben had grabbed your hand to pull you to his favourite exhibit or if Joe had offered you his coat because you looked cold, it was all done in the name of fun, accompanied by jokes and laughter. But now there was meaning behind it. Ben’s fingers brushed yours as you walked up the street towards the restaurant and he quickly pulled his hand away. 

It got easier as the night went on. The table you were seated at was towards the back corner of the restaurant, so it felt a little more private than walking along the street had. And the longer you were away from the bubble you’d created in Ben’s home and car, the less worried you were that people were watching you, staring, trying to figure out your relationship. There were still a few awkward moments when one of you would go to do something that previously you wouldn’t have thought twice about, only to second guess yourself and falter. When Joe asked how your meal was, your first reaction was to offer him a bite from your fork though you stopped yourself this time, quickly shoving the food into your own mouth to cover the stuttered word that escaped too soon. Ben kept moving as if to touch your hand or Joe’s shoulder, only to remember what you’d agreed upon that morning and stop, leaving his hand resting awkwardly in the middle of the table. Eventually though he contented himself with playing footsie with you both, hidden by the tablecloth and each other's chairs. So, by the time you were looking at the dessert menu, you felt much closer to your usual selves than you had at the beginning of the meal, laughing easily, mostly unworried by the people around you. You ordered a cocktail once the bottle of wine had been polished off , h a nding it a round so Ben and Joe could taste it , and you opted to share two desserts between the three of you, no one hungry enough for their own. 

The second Ben turned the key in the lock to let you back inside, Frankie could be heard bounding towards the door.    
“Hey girl,” he cooed, dropping to his knees to pat her as you and Joe stepped around them into the hallway.   
“That was really nice,” you said as you hung your coat up by the door, “going out on a date, I mean.”   
“Yeah it was. We’re straight up crushing this throuple thing.”   
“Took a little getting used to though. I kept feeling like everyone was watching us.” Ben stood up from the doorway, lifting Frankie into his arms as he did so, “here go to mummy for a sec while I get your dinner,”   
“Mummy?” you laughed, following Ben towards the kitchen, “Since when am I mummy? Thought I was auntie Y/N.”   
“Auntie doesn’t fit now,” Ben shrugged, a can of dogfood in one hand and a can opener in the other.   
“That raises so many questions,” Joe butted in, fingers wildly scratching under the dog’s chin, “The least of which is, if Y/N’s mummy does that make me daddy? And do those names transfer to the bedroom?”   
“Absolutely not,”   
“Spoil sport.”   
“Alright you can put her down now, her dinner’s all sorted,”   
With a final pat you placed Frankie on the floor. She stood staring at you and Joe for a minute before Ben clicked his tongue. Her ears pricked up and she followed the sound, faster once she realised food was involved.    
Ben washed his hands and turned back to you, “Anyone want anything while I'm here?”   
“No thanks, couldn’t possibly eat another bite.”   
Joe shrugged, “I could go a snack, something a bit sweet?”   
Ben and Joe shared a glance from across your shoulder and the next thing you knew Ben was sweeping you up as you squealed in surprise. He hoisted you over his shoulder, holding your legs still, as he carried you towards the bedroom.   
“Show off,” Joe said as he followed, grinning, while you banged your fists against Ben’s back.   
“Joe help me,” you whined, almost laughing as Ben adjusted his grip on you.   
“Sorry sweetie, been thinking about getting you out of that dress since I saw you in it,”   
“Me too,” Ben dropped you to the bed with a grunt that made you thankful the dress was easy to remove, “but the shoes stay on.”

Despite Joe’s assertion that you were crushing it, your new dynamic turned out to be harder to adjust to than any of you had imagined it would be. When things were good, they were really good. The domestic bliss you’d fallen into over the previous few weeks continued, but small things began  bugging you. Since Joe had moved in with Ben there hadn’t been any worries about leaving him out, no more distance to contend with, so there hadn’t been any problems when you spent the night with one and not the other. It was just how things shook out and no one made a fuss about sleeping alone. But now that you were dating it seemed they both expected you to spend every night with them. When you slept in Ben’s bed, Joe would start joking just a little too much about being excluded. And when you stayed in Joe’s, Ben would spend the next day being extra clingy, barely masking his jealousy. You briefly tried sharing a bed every night but found it untenable. It was lovely sometimes, but  somehow you always seemed to end up in the middle and  you very quickly got tired of waking up sweating and unable to easily get up to pee or grab a quick drink. Plus, before when you’d stayed over it was generally because of the sex. There’d been a few nights, particularly leading up to the night you’d  admitted your feelings, where you’d stayed because you’d been too drunk to drive home or you’d fallen asleep on the couch or just because Ben said you should, but for the most part if you were staying over it was to hook up. Now though, things weren’t solely based on the physica l so you didn’t always have sex before you fell asleep in one of their beds, a nd it led to accusations  of favouritism  and more than one argument. 

The arguments themselves were unfair too. Before, disagreements were quickly solved with a round of rough sex or at the most a couple of days apart before one of you pulled your head in and apologised.  But, though you tried to continue that pattern, it didn’t seem to work anymore. Disagreements spawned arguments, often forcing someone to take sides. It was shit being dragged into the middle of an argument you had nothing to do with and it was shit when the person in the middle took the other’s side leaving you feeling ganged up on and attacked. Joe was best at mediating, so fights between you and Ben never seemed to last long but when Joe was involved in the argument things tended to escalate. Neither you or Ben were particularly good at staying impartial or coming up with compromises , both too stubborn to give in without a push from someone else, which just led to more hurt feelings. You ended up going back to your own apartment more often. It was smaller and dingier and lonelier but at least it gave you some space and didn’t gang up on you when you loaded the dishwasher wrong.

On one evening, after a particularly long day at work when you were feeling extra snippy, Joe called you and Ben into the kitchen. You found him leaning against the bench, three mugs laid out in a row as the kettle boiled – a tea for himself, an instant coffee for Ben, and a chai latte for you.    
“This isn’t working.”   
A cold fist clenched around your heart as the words hit you. You began to protest the breakup at the same time Ben did but Joe held up a hand to stop you.   
“I didn’t mean it like that. Shit, sorry, badly phrased. I just mean something about this isn’t right and we need to talk about it so we can fix it.”   
You breathed a sigh of relief and sat down.   
“Scared us, fucker.”   
“Sorry, didn’t mean to,” he pulled out a packet of biscuits and placed them in the middle of the table, “All I want is to talk.”   
“About?”   
Joe brought the mugs over and took his own seat before he continued speaking, “I was reading some stuff online last night about situations like ours, relationships with more than two people, and every single site I found really hammered home how important good communication is to make them work. A normal couple takes a lot of communication as is but there are three of us – three personalities, three sets of opinions, maybe even three ideas of what this means or what we want from this – so we need to be better at talking about it. And I know it’s not easy, I don’t love talking about my feelings and stuff, but I think if we’re serious about this then it’s a discussion we need to have.”   
“Makes sense,” you said softly, “how do we start?”   
“I guess...maybe if we take it in turns to talk about anything that’s been bugging us lately? Y/N do you want to go first?”   
“Oh, um, okay. The thing that’s been annoying me most is how um...”   
Ben placed his hand on yours, “go on, we won’t be offended,”   
You took a breath, weighing up the best way to say it, “it’s how, uh, how possessive you guys have been.”   
“Is this why you’ve been disappearing a bit lately?”   
“Yeah. It’s... you know I love you both but sometimes it feels like you’re fighting over me and expecting me to choose between you. I mean, like, I don’t have my own bed here so when I stay over I either have to sleep on the couch, which feels stupid, or I have to sleep in one of your beds. But no matter who’s bed I choose one of you always seems to be pissed off about it. It’s like you’re both trying to be _The Boyfriend_ without considering each other. You don’t have to compete for me or whatever I’ve very clearly chosen you both.”   
“Oh my god, I didn’t even think it might be making you feel like that,” Ben said with an apologetic smile, “I know I can get a little jealous and I’ve been trying not to but I guess that’s what I’m used to. In every other relationship I’ve had, it’s like, we agree to be serious and we share a bed, those things go hand in hand. So seeing you in someone else’s bed feels wrong, which is unfair to Joe and you.”   
“I get it, Ben, I do. This is all very new and a little weird and I knew there’d be teething problems to start. But it’s tiring always feeling like I’m being pulled in both directions.”   
“Can I just point out, and this isn’t meant in a bitchy way,” Joe said, “but you’re the one who ruled out all of us sharing one bed. So do you have a solution? Because, I admit I’ve been a bit of a jerk about it. Like Ben said I still kind of feel like you should spend more time with me, which I know isn’t right but it’s hard to just switch those feelings off.”   
“I might have an idea,” Ben dunked a biscuit into his coffee, although he didn’t seem particularly interested in eating it, “Your problem is how stuffy and claustrophobic it can get when we’re all crammed into one bed right? Well, what if we bought a new bed? King sized so it gives us a bit more room.”   
“That could work, but might I suggest something else on top of that. What if you were the one who slept in the middle, Ben? At the moment it seems to always be me, which is very sweet of you both and I do enjoy it, but you are definitely the biggest cuddler of the three of us and you tend to not need to get up to pee as much as I do. Not that it has to be a structured thing, obviously, but I think I’d be more comfortable on the end more often.”   
“I am completely fine with that and I kindafeel a little dumb for not thinking of it earlier.”   
Joe grinned at you both, “It’s working,” he sing-songed, earning eyerolls from you and Ben.   
“Yes okay Joe, you’re very smart for thinking of this.”   
“Thank you,”   
“Was there something you wanted to talk about?”   
“Now that you mention it, yes. The arguments.” the laughter dropped from his voice.   
“Yeah, figured this would be brought up,” Ben said, rubbing the back of his neck.

By the time you were done talking the biscuits were gone, your mugs were empty, and you all felt closer as people and partners. It took a while to sort out why arguments seemed harder to break now than before, but you came to the conclusion that it was largely because you hadn’t really talked about how each of you felt since that first day, each of you making incorrect assumptions because of it. The conversation covered a range of topics from how to split household chores to what you had imagined being in a throuple would mean. It took a lot of work to actually be able to voice some of your concerns, and you were sure not everything that could be said was, but you all had the chance get things off your chest, frustration and feelings of inadequacy and concerns about what the future held for you.Together you came to the conclusion you needed to make some changes. Some, like the bed situation, were easy to fix, but others were harder. You decided to set a weekly check in time. A time when you’d all have a chance to talk about how things were going, discuss where you stood, and if your expectations had changed, and work out any problems that arose. The aim was to get to a point where you could have that kind of discussion at any time it became needed, but you all agreed setting a specific time would be a good way to start building the habit.    
“One final thing,” Joe’s voice sounded horse from talking, “Sex.”   
“Not sure I’m in the mood Joey,”   
“No, dingus, we should talk about it a bit. I don’t think it’ll take as much to sort out as some of this other stuff since we’re already pretty familiar with our boundaries and everything but, I figured we might as well while we’re here.”   
“I don’t really have anything to say about it,” Ben shrugged, “I like how it’s been going so far.”   
“Yeah what are you expecting us to say?”   
“Well, okay, um, one of the articles I read mentioned how some people might not be comfortable knowing the other two are screwing, or they might only want to have sex as a threesome,”   
“I don’t think those really apply here,” you said, “I mean, obviously we like the threesome stuff. But I also like having time one on one sometimes and I don’t expect you to always need me there when you two wanna fuck.”   
“Yeah, same here,”   
“Told you it wouldn’t take as long. But I think that’s it then, unless you have anything to add? No? Okay cool. I don’t know about you two, but I’m ready for bed.”   
You and Ben agreed, yawning. Being so emotionally open was tiring.    
“Where do you want to sleep Y/N?”   
“Your bed Benny, but I want Joe there too. As long as I’m not stuck between you two.”   
Ben gave you a sleepy smile as he wrapped his arms around you and dropped a soft kiss to your lips, “of course, love.” he turned towards Joe, catching him in a kiss too, “Joe I hope you’re ready to have the shit cuddled out of you.”   
“Gosh I’m lucky,”   
“Just saying, gotta thank you for forcing us to have that conversation somehow and it’s absolutely going to be cuddles all night. Maybe a morning blowjob too, haven’t decided.”

After your big discussion things began to run smoother. The process of checking in with each other became a regular part of your week, more than a little uncomfortable at first but the more you did it the better you got at it and the less you held back. It mostly happened sitting around the kitchen table with a packet of biscuits and mugs of whichever steaming drink you fancied. The routine setting helped you adjust fast. Within a few weeks you felt comfortable enough about how everything was going to tell some close friends. Rami, Lucy and Gwilym were invited over for dinner one night so you could explain it and answer any questions they would subsequently have. You barely ate a bite of the dinner you’d helped prepare, much too nervous about actually telling others. It wasn’t that you were worried about any of them taking issue with your relationship, or even that you had misgivings about whether they could be trusted to keep your secret safe. It was that up until that point you, Ben and Joe existed in your own space, and didn’t use specific labels to describe yourself, but by telling people you were willingly breaking those boundaries. If you’d thought the word boyfriends or girlfriend, that was fine, but saying them out loud confirmed that this wasn’t just a fling or fucking around or casual anymore, there were real feelings involved and a real chance of getting hurt and no matter how much you wanted to be with them, that was a scary thought.  Plus you were all still learning how to manage the relationship. Everything was better now that you’d started talking more candidly but there were still bumps in the road, and part of you felt like if things weren’t perfect then you shouldn’t tell anyone. It was likely that a relationship like yours was not something any of them were familiar with and you couldn’t help feel like you were becoming The Face of  Throuples for them, and what right did you have to take that on if you still hadn’t worked out every aspect of how to be in a  throuple ? But, thankfully, it all went well. They’d been curious but most of the questions were easy to answer. How long has it been going on? How did it happen? The sort of questions you’d usually be asked upon introducing a romantic partner to your friends. And, of course, there’d been some teasing, particularly directed at Ben and Joe for taking so long to actually get together. Gwilym made a toast in which he declared he didn’t need either of them, playing up the jilted ex-lover role to much laughter. It felt nice to talk about it with new people, even if you still felt a little queasy. And it was even nicer knowing that when you were next invited to any of their places for dinner, you and Ben and Joe wouldn’t have to worry about pretending. There‘d be no need to hide your affection under the table or steal kisses in empty rooms, you could just be together. 

After the dinner went so well you felt more okay with telling people, inviting a few of your  own  closest friends over to your place one night so you could let them in on it and swear them all to secrecy.  You talked about it with the boys first, just to make sure you were all still on the same page.  A small part of you was terrified that they’d let slip to someone who’d let slip to someone else who’s let slip to a reporter or, god forbid, your family. Telling close friends was one thing but you were nowhere near ready enough to explain it to your relatives and both Ben and Joe seemed to agree with you, especially with the holidays approaching.  But neither of them  were overly worried about it which made you feel less anxious too.  There was still that niggling worry that your relationship wasn’t perfect enough to warrant anyone knowing \- b y telling them about your relationship you were voluntarily becoming the person your friends could use to earn gossip points or praise for having such diverse friends. You could almost hear the smug  _ well I’ve got this friend, bizarre girl, in an honest to goodness  _ _ throuple _ .  But talking it through with Joe and Ben helped alleviate that too. They helped you stay relaxed on the day as well, dividing the hosting duties with you and checking on how you were going whenever they could. Telling your friends went well , although it was different to telling the other three. Your friends seemed more surprised by the news, perhaps because they weren’t as acquainted with either Ben or Joe. One or two of them had known you were sleeping with both boys but never suspected it might go further, or at least not with both of them. But you felt calmer after you’d answered their questions and stressed to them how important it was that it remained secret . It was a nerve-wracking experience, having to explain it and feeling like you had to justify your feelings but ultimately it was good, the spaces where you could comfortably be yourselves becoming more and more. 

Unfortunately, just as you were finally feeling settled in your relationship everything was turned around again. Joe’s movie wrapped and he began preparing to leave. You’d known it was coming, but still, walking into his room to find him packing shocked you, made you feel like the air had been knocked from your lungs. Mostly you’d all ignored it, pretended like it wasn’t creeping closer and closer, but you couldn’t avoid it forever. Joe looked over to where you were leaning in his doorway and smiled.   
“When’s your flight?”   
“Thursday afternoon,”   
“So soon?”   
“Yeah, kinda sucks right?” he dropped the shirt he was holding into his suitcase.   
“Little bit. The selfish part of me wants to tell you to stay but I know that’s not right,”   
“If it helps you can blame my family for being American, they’re the main reason I want to go back.”   
“Helps a little,” you chuckled, pushing off the doorway and stepping into the room, “at least we know your ditching us for a good reason,”   
“A very good reason. You’ve seen photos of my nephews; you know how fucking adorable they are.”   
“Adorable as shit, no better reason to go.”   
“I’ll come back as soon as I can, promise,”    
“Oh I’m sure you will, you won’t know what to do without us. But maybe we’ll take pity on you and visit.”   
You both broke out giggling for a moment, though the air hung heavy again before long. Joe wrapped his arms around you in a tight hug and you sighed as you buried your head in his neck.   
“Are you worried?” you almost whispered, half afraid to hear his answer.   
“About flying? No,”   
“Joe,” you leaned back so you could look at him properly, “you know that’s not what I meant.”   
“Fine. Yes, I’m a little worried. More than I’d like to be. Just feels like we've finally worked out how to do this and I’m ruining it. Long distance is hard and I can’t help but think it might fuck everything up.”   
“You are not fucking this up Joe,” you placed your hand on his jaw and felt him lean into it, “Me and Ben won’t let you, even if we have to kidnap you or something.”   
“You’re so sweet,”   
“I know. But seriously, you have done so much to get us where we are now. You’re the reason we didn’t fall apart early on and that won’t change even with an ocean between us. We’re going to message all the time and we can do video chats and still organise time for our weekly check ins and date nights and everything, so you don’t feel left out. And you’ll have to come back because you’re contracted to do promo stuff for your movie here and you can’t get out of that. And, like I said, if you’re away for too long we’ll come to you. Ben’s got that audition tomorrow so he might end up working near you anyway and I can take some time off work if he does.”   
“Plus, Christmas shopping will be easier when I don’t have to hide what I get you.”   
“Exactly! Bright sides everywhere.”   
“I love you,”   
“I love you too.”

The last few days before Joe left seemed to pass in the blink of an eye. His final night arrived before you knew it. None of you mentioned it though Ben, always a little clingy, spent most of the day with him, almost joined at the hip. Not that you’d done much better. The poor man could barely go to the bathroom without one of you offering to accompany him. But he didn’t mind. He’d mostly encouraged it. You made Joe’s favourite meal for dinner and Ben found his favourite movies on Netflix and as the hour grew later you’d ended up in a tangled pile on the couch, Joe in the middle with Ben’s head on his shoulder, their fingers intertwined, and your head in his lap, his other hand resting on your side. As the credits rolled on the final movie Joe cleared his throat.   
“About tomorrow.”   
Ben hummed to show he was listening but didn’t move.   
“I don’t know if you should come to the airport with me.”   
“What?” You and Ben spoke at the same time, both of you pushing yourselves away from Joe, sitting up.   
“I just think it’s going to be easier to keep this secret if neither of you are there.”   
“Fuck off, of course we’re going to be there. Friends can still wave each other off at the airport you know. The don’t hold a gun to your head and demand to know if you’re dating or not.”   
“Ben, that’s not....” he sighed, “Won’t it be easier to do the goodbyes here?”   
“So what?”   
“Fine, come along then but we’ll need to discuss how it’s going to work.”   
“Well Ben will drive us in a-”   
“Not the part I’m worried about. It’s not like we can do the whole romantic farewell kiss thing. Aside from our no PDAs agreement, after I leave it’ll be both of you here and if people are going to think anything it’s that you two are dating. And maybe that’s not a bad thing. If people think you’re a couple, it’ll take a bit of pressure off and there’ll be less chance of us being exposed before we’re ready.”   
You crossed your arms and bit your lip. There was sense to what he said, no matter how much you hated it.    
Ben scoffed and shook his head, “bullshit,”   
“You know I’m right. Y/N is here almost every day and people already suspect you're together. In the first week I was here I had multiple friends of yours ask me if I knew what was going on between you, and that was when you were just fucking.”   
“I can know you’re right and still dislike it.”   
“I don’t like it any more than you. But I think we might as well use it to our advantage. And it means you won’t have to be quite as careful about going out together. You could go out and hold hands and kiss in public and people wouldn’t catch on to the reality of our relationship. They wouldn’t realise I’m part of it.”   
There was silence as you all paused.   
“Stop being so melodramatic Mazzello,” Ben crossed his arms over his chest, “We have a no PDA rule, you just mentioned it before, and that won’t change just because you aren’t around. Stop acting like we’re going to run off without you or something, that’s never going to happen.Also we’re coming to the airport tomorrow. We don’t have to stay and wave you off but we are at least taking you to the drop off zone and you will give us both a hug goodbye.”   
You were a little stunned by Ben’s sudden burst of dominance, but Joe just smiled, and let out a breath he seemed to have been holding.   
“Well?”   
“Deal,”   
“Deal,”   
“Deal,” Ben stood, grabbing Joe by the hand and pulled him off the couch, “Now come on, last night means farewell sex and you clearly need a strong reminder of how much you mean to us so get ready to have your mind blown.”

You woke in the morning with Joe between you and Ben, your arms tangled together where you held him. For a while you just lay there, intermittently making out and talking in soft voices, as if worried that being too loud would scare time and make it bound away. It did so anyway. The afternoon arrived sooner than any of you wanted and before you were ready you were parked in the lounge room, Joe’s luggage piled by the door, saying goodbye.    
Joe squeezed you tight as you tried not to cry into his shoulder, “promise you’ll look after Benny for me.   
“Of course,”   
“And I expect you to tell me everything that happens, no matter how boring. You’re going to get so sick of your phone vibrating because I’m gonna be sending you so many messages,”   
It was getting harder to hold your tears back, voice thick with them, “Not if I annoy you first. If I so much as eat you will hear about it.”   
“Good, don’t think I could get through a day without hearing about yours. I’m going to miss you so much.”   
“Me too. It’s going to be weird without you here. What if me and Ben can’t make it work without you?”   
“Don’t be daft, you’re perfect together. Almost perfect anyway.”   
You let out a watery laugh.   
“Seriously though, you’ll be fine. I know you’re both stubborn asses but you will be fine.”   
“Yeah, you’re right, I’m being dumb. You were right back at the beginning of this too.”   
“I know I was, but about what specifically?”   
“We’re crushing this throuple thing. And we’re going to keep crushing it, no matter where we all live.”   
“Damn right. I love you,”   
“Love you too.”   
It didn’t matter that your voice cracked halfway through or that you were trying to blink back tears because Joe kissed you then, his hands trying to pull you even closer into his body. You kissed him back, trying to put every ounce of love into it you could manage. It was the kind of kiss that left your lips tingling and your head feeling vaguely dizzy when he finally pulledaway, a slightly dazed expression on his own face. Gently he cupped your jaw, thumb stroking over your cheek to wipe away a fallen tear. The gesture was followed with another, softer, kiss to your lips and then to your forehead. 

When he let you go you stepped back and tried to fade into the background while he and Ben had their moment, though it was hard not to watch a little even if you couldn’t hear what they were saying. Seeing Ben lose his composure didn’t make it any easier to stop yourself from crying. When they broke apart Ben’s cheeks were stained pink and his eyes were watery but he cleared his throat and shook his head.   
“Spose we should get you loaded into the car then.”   
Joe let out a shaky breath as he ran his hand over his own face, “Okay, I’m good,” he made his way to the door and picked up the suitcase while Ben grabbed his carryon luggage. Ben winked as he passed you, both of you trying not to laugh despite how sad you felt. Joe would be very surprised when he got home and found the bundle of polaroid photos you and Ben had hidden in his suitcase, pressed between two of his shirts. You wished you could see his face when he did. Instead you contented yourself with trying to imagine the message he’d send you, finding it useful to stop your emotions from getting the better of you as you hopped into the backseat and Ben started the engine. 

The drive itself was more than a little tense. It felt weird to have done your goodbyes, emotional as they ended up being, only to trap yourselves together in an inescapable enclosed space. There was no singing along to the radio, just some soft conversation, mostly about Joe’s flight. Though you wouldn’t have missed the drive for anything, wanting to spend as much time with Joe as possible even if there was a weird vibe to it. The vibe shifted as you got closer to the airport, less weird, more straight up depressing. You and Ben climbed out of the car with Joe, Ben heading to pull his bags from the boot.    
“Have a safe flight,” Ben said, dropping the bags to the ground and moving to give Joe a final hug, “Look after yourself and text us as soon as you land, okay?” You could see the way his hand lingered on Joe’s back, how he squeezed just a little tighter than he normally would, but to an outsider it would have looked like nothing more than good friends parting. You felt the tears beginning to form again and desperately tried to hold them back. Joe nodded as they broke apart and then pulled you into a final hug.   
“Don’t cry Y/N. Gotta keep it together so Ben doesn’t break down bawling,”   
“Oi, I heard that, jerk,”   
“Not disputing it though are you?” Joe laughed, “but seriously Y/N, there’s no need. I’ll be back as soon as I can be and then you’ll feel like a right dork for getting so emotional.”   
“Better come back fast and prove it. Tell your nephews they’re lucky little jerks.”   
Joe just laughed as he stepped back, “See you next time, then. Thanks for... everything.” There was a second where you had to fight the urge to leap at Joe and pull him into the sort of big romantic kiss reserved for romcoms but then he grabbed his bags and headed off towards the entrance, the moment gone. He paused once to look back and wave before he disappeared amongst the crowd. You and Ben stayed for a few seconds, watching the entrance just in case he appeared again but he didn’t.

By the time you got home both of you felt exhausted, drained. Without saying a word you headed to the room that Joe had claimed as his own, Ben following without really seeming to realise. It already felt too quiet with just the two of you there. You toed off your shoes and lay down on the bed, Ben collapsing beside you, his hand falling to your waist.    
The bed still smelt like Joe and you sighed, “It’s going to be different without him,”   
“Yeah, probably. But it’ll be fine. It’s so easy to keep in contact, we’ll manage.”   
“I know. Just gonna take some getting used to I guess. I already miss him so much,”   
“I know babe,” Ben’s arms tightened as he pulled you into his chest. For a moment you just lay there and then the silence was broken by both of your phones buzzing in sync. There was a new message in your group chat, both of you clicking to open it, hoping just a little that Joe’s flight had been cancelled or something similar. Instead you were met with three words that made both of you sob.

_ Miss you already _


End file.
